We all had a role in our family when growing up.

Eldest, youngest, only girl, only boy, surprise baby, only child… whatever our story it’s important that we’re aware of it because it matters so much.

As the first born there may have naturally been more anxiety around you as a baby compared to your siblings.

Having a sibling with special needs that you had to be mindful of or help out with may mean you are ‘super skilled’ at taking care of the needs of others.

If you were the last child your mother would have, forever the baby of the family, perhaps you didn’t experience the same incentive or demand to grow up having no younger siblings to be responsible for.

Being the only girl, you may have been given your brother’s old clothes and been involved in more typically boy-ish play.

Did you align with one parent more than the other this may have shaped your likes and dislikes with regards to what you spent time doing to be close to them.

We all had positions in our family with both positive and negative aspects. Some of this is perhaps referenced regularly when families are together but do we ever really think how our roles are underlying our personality traits and our behaviour on a day-to-day basis within our relationships, friendships and work place?


Think about your role in the family? First born, Youngest? Middle child? Only child? What traits did this develop in you?

Consider your gender and the ratio of male to female in the household? What traits did this bring out in you?

What character strengths do you have now that you are proud of and could be attributed back to your family circumstance?

What things did you perhaps miss out on because of your unique family dynamic?

It’s natural that most of us come out of childhood with some unmet needs, denying or avoiding them doesn’t help your progress though. As always, awareness is such a powerful tool from which you can go forward knowing exactly what you now need to experience or seek to maybe shift something you struggle with.